Is being a perfect parent good for our kids?

Children learn what they live. Most parents want to give their kids the very best that they can, and this is a wonderful thing. The challenges begin when we, as parents, confuse giving our children the best we can with being perfect.

We begin to confuse ensuring that our attachment to our children is strong with ensuring that they have the right toys and clothes. This confusion often leads to comparing ourselves to other parents and feeling like we aren’t enough. We begin to feel shame about things that occurred on the surface in our past, and we want to hide this from our children and others. We also begin to hold ourselves to impossible standards in the present. We forget that the reason we are here is to learn and to grow. We forget that our job is to use our attachment to guide our children and ensure that they are connected to Source and to others. That means that they will see the humanity in others and understand that learning and growing are the farthest thing from perfection.

Resilient people are not perfect. You need to fall down to learn how to get back up. Modelling perfection is not what parents should be striving for if they truly want to give their children the best.

Modelling vulnerability shows them what bravery looks like. Modelling self-compassion when we screw up and compassion, when they screw up, shows them what learning and growing look like. Modelling that what you do or what happens to you should not be confused with who you are shows them what resilience looks like. Modelling gratitude for life, despite the challenges that occur, shows them the root of well-being. Perfection is not authentic.

Our children will flourish not by seeing us as perfect, but by seeing us as human. Ideally, as brave, compassionate, resilient humans who take the time to ensure that our attachment is strong, and to model learning and growing. This is truly the best we can give our kids.